PERSUASIVE COMMUNICATION

After my last article on Training: An Alternative Career, several people wrote in to ask me to recommend some effective ways to help them improve their communication and presentation skills.

So I will take this opportunity to elaborate a little more on the art of communication. There are many areas to look at in communication, as we’ve read in many books: a message is communicated through visual, vocal and verbal. From that, comes the importance of body language, how we present ourselves, and so on. The visual and vocal elements are indeed very important to effective communication, but we will not touch on that here.

Rather, let’s look at why many people experience a challenge in communicating effectively from the verbal aspect:

Self-consciousness

When I was a magazine editor, I was invited to many red carpet events and cocktails where I had to rub shoulders with the rich and famous. Initially I dreaded those events, because I was not comfortable at making small talk with these people.

Then a great truth dawned on me – to be a good conversationalist, we simply had to be a great listener. We had to be genuinely interested in what the other person had to say, ask the right questions (because we genuinely wanted to know more) and presto, people will laud us as great communicators!

It’s often our own self-consciousness that makes us tongue-tied and awkward. We are so pre-occupied with what intelligent idea to share next, that we can barely concentrate on listening to and understanding the other party.

Non-empathy

The other block to good communication is non-empathy. We are sometimes so intent on putting our ideas across that we forget to be sensitive or empathetic to the other person. Is the person in a rush, or does he or she have other matters on his or her mind?

A good example is when we want to sell an idea to our boss: is he or she rushing for another meeting? Or perhaps he or she has just got some flak from his or her boss or a customer and is simply in a lousy mood.

My personality type tends towards being results-oriented, so this was an area that I was weak in. Now I’ve learnt to be more sensitive and to always ask: Is it a good time to talk? Or: Do you have half an hour to discuss… ?

Lack of clarity

This comes from lack of clarity in our thoughts as well as our verbal communication. It starts from our thoughts: are we quite clear in our minds what is the message we wish to convey? From there, we move on to effective choice of words. Some people may have a language problem: they may be thinking in their mother language, say Mandarin, and trying to express their ideas in a language they are not comfortable with, say English.

Learn to organize your thoughts. Before making an important presentation, list down the points you want to make in a logical sense. If language is a challenge, then I suggest you write your ideas down in proper sentences and ask a friend to go through for you. I’m not saying you should read from your paper or memorise the “speech” but just writing it down and reading it a few times will help you a great deal in putting your message across.

Many people thought as long as they speak fluently, they are good communicators. Not so, as those of you who have had to listen to someone go on and on about themselves, will testify. They may be such eloquent speakers, and even entertaining at times, but there’s only so much we can take in a one-way communication. I’m sure some of you have been in a situation where you just wish you were somewhere else after 20 minutes!

The highest level of communication which I personally would strive for as a communicator is what is known as persuasive communication. This takes place when the person we are communicating with, 1) understands what we want to say, 2) feels what we are feeling and is then 3) motivated to take action on what we have said. Effective communication may stop short at (2); the listener may not necessarily want to do something about what he or she has just heard.

One skill that can help you move from effective to persuasive communication is that of asking questions. This is a powerful skill that once you have mastered it, will indeed help you see immediate results in your daily communication - be it sales, presentation of ideas, talking to your friends or simply getting your child to do what you want! So the best thing you can do for yourself now is to pop into a bookstore and grab a book on this!


Article is contributed by Jessica See, a consultant with Mastery Asia Pte Ltd, which conducts the Certified Professional Trainers course, and Stand Up & Speak ™. To register for a free introductory seminar on training as a profession in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur and Shanghai, email jessica@qscasia.com. Website: http://www.CertifiedProfessionalTrainer.com

5 Ways to Quickly Build Trust with your Client

For the last two parts of this article, I’ve shared with you three ways how you can build trust quickly with someone whom you are meeting for the first time. Here are the last two quick steps that you can apply in most situations.


4) Use technology and other visual aids

People tend to perceive those who use technology as more sophisticated and professional. Thus, if you are doing a presentation to a group, using a laptop and projector with PowerPoint will probably gain you more respect compared to writing your materials on flipchart and white board.

Likewise, printed materials such as brochures and catalogues give people a sense of “dependability” and you are not representing a “fly by night” company.


5) Be a leader - Act confidently to inspire

People have a natural herd mentality. In other words, there is a tendency to crowd together in the safety of its own kind under a leader.

What is the first quality that comes to you when you look at a leader? While traits like caring for people, big picture thinking and crisis management are all important traits for a leader; the first impression that many great leaders create, is often his confidence in carrying himself in front of others.

We all know the simple rule in life: If you want to be happy, take actions that will make you happy. If having coffee with a group of friends makes you happy, have more coffee with friends! Similarly, if you want to be confident, take actions that will make yourself confident. Giving yourself a pat on the shoulder, clenching your fist, or recalling memories of your first victory in a track and field event during school days are some suggestions that may work.

Anytime you take a positive action, you raise your spirit and others will feel it too.

Remember, emotions are contagious!

Article is contributed by Tan Teck Beng, Certified Professional Trainer, IPMA (UK). To find out more about the Certified Professional Trainer course, or to register for a free introductory seminar on training as a profession, in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur or Shanghai, email jessica@qscasia.com, or visit Website: http://www.CertifiedProfessionalTrainer.com

5 Ways to Quickly Build Trust with Your Client

Yesterday, you read how as trainers and consultants, we need to be sincere and always tell the truth when we meet with our client, as well as to instantly build credibility so they have confidence in our credentials.

Today we touch on another important step to build trust quickly with clients we meet for the first time:

3) Build Rapport

Building rapport is finding or creating areas of commonality between two parties.

Like what I always tell people attending my seminars: People like people who are like themselves. Notice how people from similar backgrounds “flock” together?

The two easiest ways are clothing and body language.

(i) Clothes create an identity for you.

Have you ever noticed how a group of teens hanging out on the street tend to dress like their peers? Dressing gives them a sense of belonging. When you dress like your client, you are complimenting their taste – indirectly. For this reason, people start to like you, without they themselves knowing. As you know, if you want someone to trust you, they must first like you.

Another school of thought says that you should dress like the expert that your client take advice from. Thus if you are meeting a franchise owner, wear what his advisor will normally wear. If you are meeting a human resource manager, than dress like what someone who advises a HR manager will wear.

In my opinion, either approach is fine. The key is to be aware of your dressing to make sure you are not “out of frequency”.

(ii) Body language

In 1967, professor Albert Mehrabian from UCLA carried studies to show that we are perceived in 3 ways: Body Language, Tone and Words. The impact of the 3 components are broken down below:

Body Language 55%
Tone of Voice 38%
Words 7%

Today, it is almost impossible to attend a class in communication without being taught the importance of body language.

Many experts preach that we should match and mirror the body language of our clients. However, these if not carefully manage, may make you look “fake” and therefore lose credibility.

From my experience, in most cases, as long as you don’t over mismatch, that will suffice. Hence, if your client is relaxing in the couch, you may not want to be too “forward”. If your client is speaks really fast, you may want to speed up a little too.

Watch out for the conclusion of this article tomorrow where I share the last two suggestions on how you can build trust quickly with your client.


Article is contributed by Tan Teck Beng, Certified Professional Trainer, IPMA (UK). To find out more about the Certified Professional Trainer course, or to register for a free introductory seminar on training as a profession, in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur or Shanghai, email jessica@qscasia.com, or visit Website: http://www.CertifiedProfessionalTrainer.com

5 Ways to Quickly Build Trust with Your Client

Trust is the foundation for every business relationship, be it sales, negotiations, joint ventures or any business deals. Without trust, there will be a lot of guessing, checking and backstabbing.

As a trainer or consultant, it'd even more crucial that you can build trust quickly for someone whom you are meeting for the first time. There are 5 quick steps that you can apply in most situations. Today we will touch on the first two steps:


1) Be sincere – telling the truth

While this may look like the obvious, it is not commonly practiced.

Always tell the truth. Look into their eyes and mean what you say. Let them know everything, including the good, the bad and the ugly. If your solution or whatever you are proposing is not a perfect fit to their problems, say so.

Remember, at all times, the interest of your clients should be your top priority. Once your client discovers this, he will gladly transfer all the business from your competitors to you.

Just a side note: Sometimes, there may be a difference between your client’s interest and your client’s organization’s interest. In this case, your priority should always be helping your client, within legal and moral limits.


2) Build credibility – what is your credential as a trainer?

We live in societies where people respect authorities and experts.

Experts are people who know a great deal about a subject matter. Authorities are people who have the power within a certain scope. In either case, people listen to them.

What you need to do is to position yourself as the expert and authority of your field. For example, if you are a sales trainer, do more research on different sales strategies and techniques. Or if you a trainer specialising in team building, write articles on that subject and send to magazines and newspapers.

Carefully draft a good write-up for yourself. How long have you been in this business? Who are the prominent clients that you have done training or consultancy for? (If it is not a violation of confidentiality to disclose.)

Communicate this information to your clients in every way you can think of … flyers, leaflets, advertisements or even subtly mentioned some of these yourself.

Remember: Communicate, communicate, and communicate!


Watch out for the continuation of this article tomorrow!


Article is contributed by Tan Teck Beng, Certified Professional Trainer, IPMA (UK). To find out more about the Certified Professional Trainer course, or to register for a free introductory seminar on training as a profession, in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur or Shanghai, email jessica@qscasia.com, or visit Website: http://www.CertifiedProfessionalTrainer.com